


a dead man's tale

by mazabm



Series: world shifts series [4]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Multi, Pre-Poly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 11:37:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazabm/pseuds/mazabm
Summary: In the world where Maria is the one that lives and he is still the one that dies but lives again.  He doesn't come home and here is the justification for why.





	a dead man's tale

**Author's Note:**

> This is really a stream of consciousness for Frank, that why it’s ten pages verses world shifts 25 or so. I started writing this when I wrote World Shifts and it was relatively done, I made some little edits to it but it’s just it is. I don't know if I'll come back to this universe, I have some ideas for a sequel, for a Karen focused one, one that handles Fisk, one that might try to save Billy but I don't know.

Let’s be clear, this is not the story that Frank Castle deserves, no if the universe was fair, Frank Castle would get a bullet in his brain and he would die with his family but he never gets that. Life is never fair to Frank Castle, but sometimes only sometimes, he is lucky, but those universes are few and far between. The world needs a Punisher and if it does not get one from Frank Castle, it will make another. The universe will make orphans and widows and husbands who do what needs to be done, she’s about balance that way. She introduces a Punisher and a hero and pits them against each other until they recognize each other as brothers. That’s all this story is, just told another way, this is just the lucky chance, this is the time when Frank doesn’t have to watch them die. He takes it, it’s hard to judge a man when you’re not the one in his shoes. 

The thing about dying is that there isn't any light, no tunnel, no choir chorus, it’s a searing pain and then nothing, it’s nothing. Nothing dragged him back to life, nothing called out to him. 

One minute Frank Castle was alive, and depending on who tells the story, he’s waiting for his family, or he’s right next to them and when he notices the guns, it’s too late. That happened this time too. It’s a searing pain, a sharp type of pain that drags him to darkness and the next minute he was dead, a bullet to his brain, hearing the screams of children in his ears. And regardless of who’s telling the story, this always happens. Then he was alive again and nothing made sense. 

He doesn’t lie, those first few months, he’s nothing but a shell. He’s a dead man walking. He figures out his own little clues, figures out who put a bullet in his brain, but concrete becomes sand beneath his feet, the night time turns into the desert sun in his head. He’s ruthless because he can’t remember if he’s imagining his family in his arms bleeding out or if they’re alive and he can’t exactly check. Okay, Red was right, he needs help, but he’s not done. He can’t be done. It’s a special type of destructive thinking that has him standing over his own memorial, standing in front of his own house, afraid to see what’s inside. He’s been dead to the world, a long time. He wonders if Maria will take a corpse into her home if she will bring him back to life; he doesn’t see, he just dreams about it. He dreams of holding her hand and watching as men shoot her in the head. 

Okay so, he doesn’t go home. He watches, he protects, he’s like a guardian angel (a demon, a wanderer cursed) He shoots, he dies, and he lives again and he wonders what fucked up God is out there whose one intent is making sure he finishes this, this war, he wanted nothing to do with. 

”You know nothing about me Red.” and he doesn’t quite know where the fury comes from when he fights this saint who judges him for doing what he couldn’t. He knows why Red is angry it’s because Frank is more of a devil than he’ll ever be but he’s not sure who’s he’s angry at when he yells to the sky for his family. 

He was a loving father and husband but he was also a Marine and he’s got a mission, he’s got a war to finish. And despite what Karen says, he thinks about going home; he thinks about it all the goddamn time. He thinks about holding Maria’s face in his hands and he thinks about kissing her; he dreams about it. 

“She’s alive, Frank! She didn’t die, and she would probably be pissed as hell to find out you’ve been acting like she did.” And she doesn’t understand, she believes in justice and honor just like her Red friend. She doesn’t get him, that’s not true, she does understand, understands his motivations, understands there is something wrong within his brain. 

“It’s not safe, it has to be safe.” And she looks at him, a little lost, a little angry but eventually she stops telling him to go home, recognizes him for what he is. 

He’s some ghost. The white mask, it’s just a way to hide his identity, hide Frank from view, which is stupid because everyone he’s coming after knows exactly who he is, knows what they did to him, thinks it’s his ghost coming for revenge. 

The media calls him the Punisher, and maybe he is dramatic leaving his white skull all over this city, maybe she was an asshole for releasing it to make some point to him and the city that killed him. Maybe they’re both wrong, Red thinks so. But then Red is holding the body of his girl and his opinion suddenly isn’t so loud. 

If you do this, it’s over Frank, it’s over.” Karen tries to tell him but even she doesn’t like him, can’t stay with all this blood on his hands. He misses her sometimes, thinks about the way she pulled his soul back into his shell of a body but he also thinks of her eyes and tears and she’s safer without him, better without him. 

So maybe Curt describes it best, Curt who embraces him and doesn’t ask the hard questions. Curt who doesn’t force him to go home (but he could if he just said the right thing) but he doesn’t, maybe because he understands most about having a mission and never being able to complete it. Curt who offhandedly mentions his kids not to hurt him (as Karen does, because she has a goal and she’s willing to do anything to reach it) but as someone who knew him like family, who loves him like family. 

“They miss you but they’re doing all right, Maria, she’s good okay? We got her. Do what you need to do.” And it’s the first time, he feels validated, he feels seen and then Micro comes and his world is a little bigger, the enemy is a lot further than he thought and he’s standing in the shadows holding white flowers, asking for help. She takes him back (her boy is dead, and she looks at him, aching for his family and too damn scared to go to them and she takes him back) 

Frank Castle is a Marine and Marines aren’t cowards but around her, and the way she wields his family like a knife, it makes him want to rip his own heart out for feeling, rip her tongue right out of her mouth for telling him the truth and that’s what she does. She’s a damn journalist, and she’s always been biased for him but now, now that she’s been with his family, knows them, she glares at him, full of righteousness and fury for a family he’s died to protect. 

“I can’t, come back yet, it’s not safe.” 

“Will it ever be safe? Honestly, do you think it will ever be safe?” 

And that’s why he can’t be around her because she digs in under his skin, flays him alive, expects to drag him back home and he just can’t let her do that. 

Sometimes he looks at David who watches his own family with such longing and he thinks if Maria sounded the way Sarah did, he would be there in a second. He would throw himself at her feet, he’d do anything for a taste of her food, for a kiss on the cheek, he’d do anything at this point. But then he almost dies trying to get information and Curtis practically tells him to do something, anything and Frank is stuck, he stuck between answering Billy’s call (Billy, his family) or finishing this on his own, dying and never having to see their faces again, letting them have their peace. Turns out he and Micro they’re not all that different, and Sarah deserves a happier turn in her story and he tries not to look at his family and think about what state it is in. His family has Billy, Curtis, Karen, they aren’t the Liebermans by a long shot. It’s what he tells himself before he dreams of them all dying, shot by him, shot by Agent Orange, killed by his unit, everyone he ever loved gone like that. 

Okay, so he still needs help, but he needs to finish this, needs to before Madani gets herself killed, before someone realizes he’s still alive and goes after his family again and that’s what he’s so scared of. He knows that there are agencies watching their every move, hell; he sees cops sit outside his kids school, everyone knows that one day he’s gotta come home, except Maria and he thinks, if she knew, damn the consequences, he would be right there on the front porch, flowers in his hand. 

Maybe that’s why when the bomber threatens Curtis he reacts like that, willingly throwing himself back into the light to save him because if he loses Curtis, it would make all this shit not mean anything at all. It would be like losing Maria, taking another piece from him he can’t lose. Adding Louis to the list in his head is easily justified. Cutting the wires, while gripping the back of Curtis’s head, hoping that he doesn’t blow them to high hell, easy. He can’t lose Curtis, it makes his actions easy. Seeing his skull splashed all over the web again, hard. 

When Karen goes after the senator and the bomber, he might snap a little. 

He calls her constantly to check on her, hears Maria talking in the background and moves Louis’s name up in the list in his head 

He can’t lose Karen the same way he can’t Curtis, the same way he can’t lose Maria and he doesn’t think too hard on that. He just throws himself in front of bullets for her, takes on a bomber for her. Looks Billy in the eye and sees betrayal and loses his fucking mind. He pushes his mask up and presses his forehead to Karen and he just breathes. He needs her the same way he needs Curtis, needs someone who dragged him back to life. When he leaves, he knows that he won’t see her again for a while. 

So Billy betrayed him, it stings like a bitch. 

Billy shoots at Curtis and his whole world shifts, the edges go a little gray and everything falls into place. It’s easy to trade himself to Orange for David’s family, it easily could have been Maria, could have been the kids but it’s not. Madani promises not to say anything to his wife, and he goes intending to die and to take everyone with him. 

“It always had to be you, Bill.” It’s really something that Killing Orange with his last breath, that‘s expected. Seeing Maria, holding her in his arms knowing he avenged himself, protected her, protected his family. It almost makes it worth it, almost makes it worth it. Waking up in David’s arms knowing that means that this shit isn’t over, priceless. 

“Karen,” He says when he answers the phone and he hears The sharp intake of breath on the phone and almost breaks. 

“Take the phone.” Her voice is sharp, and he’s never wanted her to tear him apart more than at this moment. It’s so much easier to pretend someone is dead when he can’t hear their voice. 

“Frank,” Karen says and he can hear the wobble in her voice. 

“I’m almost done.” He says all he can say. 

“Don’t die.” She says. “Please.” 

“You just could not stay dead to literally save your life.” Madani is bleeding out, Maria, Karen, and the kids are nearby and he is circling Billy on this damn wheel where he died the first time. They’re both monsters masquerading as men, brothers, enemies. He loved Billy once, that was his best fucking friend, but this was inevitable. 

It cannot go past here for Frank, it’s time for him to go home. 

“I kept them alive, I protected them while you were dead!” Billy is bitter and angry like he deserves to be. “I kept Maria safe, while you were out there playing at some hero! You couldn’t leave it alone, Frank!” It hurts that Billy Russo can act like he's the righteous one in his face like he did Frank a favor by betraying him, by stabbing him in the back. “I thought I was being haunted by your ghost, I spent months looking for you! I tried to fix it, Frank! But you were gone, and you didn’t come to me!” It’s ironic that Billy killed him and gets to be the one who feels betrayed. 

‘Go home, Frank.’ He doesn’t wonder why he has her voice in his head. ‘Don’t die.’ 

It’s time for him to live, to stop being a corpse, to go back home and when he drags Billy’s face through the glass and the man screams, Frank wakes up and rights his own world. 

“You don’t get to die, you get to live with what you’ve done.” If this was the right universe, they would all be dead in the ground but Maria is alive and so Frank, with his last little energy, tears down the kids, puts a hand to Madani’s head and waits. 

He takes Karen’s hand before she leads him into the house, grips it right. It terrifies him to look Maria in the face; he doesn’t know to expect a slap or a hug or a kiss and Karen she takes his hand and squeezes and then she lets him go. Going first to set the stage. He limps behind her, his legs ache, his chest tight. 

“Frank,” Maria breathes out, he drops the flowers to the ground and he catches her, her arms the only thing holding him together. She kisses him first, and he presses into it, full of the way he missed her. She starts his heart again, makes him more man than a corpse, he clutches her so tightly. He will never let go again, except he does, reaching his arm out with Maria to pull Karen to them and he doesn’t ask, doesn’t question the space she fills. He just clutches them close and comes back to life. 

The Punisher goes down, and Frank Castle comes home. 

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY ONE YEAR TO WORLD SHIFTS! I didn't do this on purpose but yay!


End file.
